Tell 'Em Large Marge Sent Ya!

One of the great things about being on the road is seeing all the places and things you dreamed about when you were growing up. This was a big one for me, the truck stop from Pee Wee's Big Adventure. Rumor has it the guy who built these has a half dozen more hiddden in the desert somewhere. I really fucking hope so, 'cause these ones have shit the bed. When I first lay eyes on these bad-boys it was everything the 14-year-old in me wanted to see. A gigantic concrete dino that you can crawl inside of, I instantly started looking for Simon so we could go watch the sunrise through the man eaters mouth. What I found inside was about 180 degrees from that.
At first you think that you walked into a gift shop. Every piece of dinosur related crap you can think of, all the way down to the T-Rex head-on-a-stick-grabbermajob. You know what I'm talking about, the thing with the trigger on the bottom that makes the mouth move and as soon as you pick it up you make it bite your buddy in the nuts. Yeah, that thing. Anyway. Once you look closer it becomes aparent that it is all a big Christian brainwashing scam. The books are all about how the dinosaurs are a lie and the videos playing everywhere tell all the poor kids that walk in the door that the earth is only a couple thousand years old. After all those years, it was a like punching 14-year-old me straight in the ballbag. Now I know what Pee-Wee felt like when he found out there was no basement in the Alamo...